The end of an era

It is a year since my last post. Life has changed dramatically in the last year.

My mother gave up her battle with cancer and passed away in July 2008.
One of the last serious books she read was Robert Pausch's The Last Lecture. She died 4 days before him.

She may not have had as grand a life as Dr Pausch, but she was no less admirable. Her life revolved around my dad and the three of us sisters. She always held on to only our best behaviours. She did not hold on to the irritations, anger, resentments caused by our worst behaviour. We are not very sociable and tend to limit our interactions to just the 3 of us, our spouses and our parents.  She was our gateway.  She was also our buffer against the nuttiness of our extended families. We tended to treat her like another sister; Unlike most of her generation, we never gave her unconditional obedience or deference. I hope she didn't mind that. 

But, in retrospect, that is what made her such a integral part of our lives long after we had all got married and moved away. That's what makes us miss her so much. I want her to come back for just 1 visit to let us know she is fine, she was happy here and she continues to be happy wherever she is.

I was the most difficult daughter. I would read regular internet reports on managing diabetes and would insist on trying it out on her. I never heeded any advice unless she could give my a scientific explanation for doing it. I now come to understand she was right on many things. She was magnificent about supporting me in may of my child rearing decisions. I have to admit, she was more open to my ideas than I was to hers.

I recently watched a discovery program and discovered that she was always right. You can throw away just the slice with fungus and use the rest of the loaf without any harm! Ditto for making cheese out of curdled milk.

She died on her terms. Spending the last month with my dad, cooking his favourite dishes and creating some awesome memories for him.

I cant decide which makes me more sad, my mother not being around or my father being all alone in the world now.  

I am trying to make as positive an impact on my son's life now. 
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